Am I Worthy?

Ready for my close up

Not just with the picture, but I wanted to share some things that have been on my heart lately. Plus, hey, it’s transformation Tuesday and this counts lol. It’s a bit deeper kind of transformation than my baby right arm bicep growing :p

In 4th grade, I said to myself, “remember that this is the first time you feel fat.” I actually remember sitting in the hallway, watching other girls at the other end of the hall, having this huge mental shift.

We moved just before I started 6th grade and I was so self-conscious that it held me back from making new friends. I kept telling myself, “they already have their friends, why would they want me?” Then in my health (!) class, my teacher (who was, no offense to her, obese) pulled me aside one day and told me that I’d “need to be careful because girls built like us gained weight really easily and if I didn’t watch out, I’d end up like her.” Or maybe that last part was just where my mind went…because what else would a 12 year old girl think when she is already bigger (ehm, taller) than all of the girls in her grade and having these negative body thoughts?

Seeds get planted over time and your mind starts to play tricks on you. It starts to make connections and set in DEEP rooted beliefs about yourself that eventually will dictate your life…unless you take control back. Unless you decide that will NOT be your story. 

“I am not what has happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” -Carl Jung

Every day for the past year and a half I have
-surrounded myself with uplifting people who believe in me when I don’t.
-taken care of my body by being active and feeding myself healthy foods.
-changed my mindset and grown in my confidence by reading and listening to personal development. (I cannot put into words what a huge impact this one has had on my life.)

These 3 things have completely changed my perception of myself AND the trajectory of my life…and that means that a ripple effect has occurred and will continue to occur in my daughter’s life. And ya know what? None of that would have happened if I hadn’t taken a leap of faith into my first challenge group. I know, I know…you hear me talk about them all the time…but that’s because it’s the truth. It’s my truth. You can choose to believe me or not; I will never hide from my truth. Because I trusted God’s plan for me, it is literally my job to surround myself with amazing people, help others believe in themselves, and grow myself into a stronger, happier, more confident, more Godly, and more loving person every day. 

If I told 2 Years Ago Me that this would be my job? I’d tell myself I didn’t deserve it. But guess what? We deserve more than we could ever imagine…after all, a Father once decide we were WORTHY of His own Son’s torture and death. So yes, you do deserve a healthy, happy life. We all do. heart emoticon