Embracing the Roller Coaster

Here's a backwards {and quite vulnerable} #throwbackthursday for ya...

Usually the left side is the less lean side you're working to get "away" from, right? Well...do you see that face? Does that face look like the proud woman who had just lost 87 pounds after a 60+ pound pregnancy gain? Not so much...I had a jacked up sense of my body. What I see in the mirror when I see this picture now is COMPLETELY different than what I saw when I took it. I thought I still had so much body fat to lose. I thought I needed to gain way more muscle before I would have the toned body I desired. I thought I had to be perfect in order to achieve it....fast forward two years to the pic on the right? I'm PROUD. I see progress. I see empowerment. That picture was two weeks ago, after losing 20 pounds this summer. Because of the mindset I had on the left, I spent almost 2 years digging myself into a hole that I kept pretty private because I was so ashamed. Because I still felt I had to be perfect. That if I wasn't perfect, I couldn't get results. When the REALITY was the I had major lessons to learn. Like the fact that eating 100% in line with your meal plan every single day until you reach your goals is unrealistic and nearly, if not, impossible. Goals that change, goals that evolve, goals that are skewed if you have such a negative mindset around your body image. But when you EMBRACE the fact that this is a LIFEstyle {{for LIFE, not for "till my goals are achieved"}} then you realize that perfection is impossible and eating off plan every so often doesn't have to derail you...doesn't have to send you spiraling for days or weeks...that everything really will be okay and you still WILL make progress toward your goals if you just stand up, brush it off, and resume. Success is never a straight line to the top. Embrace the struggles. Embrace the obstacles. Embrace the LIFEstyle. We got this.💪🏼💕Comment below if you want to join our fit family here on FB-- we love you no matter what and will support you endlessly!👭👭👭

I'm breaking up with you

Dear donuts and cookies and chocolate,

I'm breaking up with you.

For
like
ever.

Dear pizza and chips and pasta,

I'm breaking up with you.

For
like
always.


I'm sick of this cycle you guys keep me in.
I struggle then I get back on track and then I get just a TINY taste and you suck me back into your vicious ways. I eat one friggin piece of cake and tell myself, "Balance, Tori. It's fine. Everyone else does it and preaches about how important it is so it's fine...it's all about balance," even though deep down I know what path it'll lead me down and there I am, five days or three months later find myself still fighting to get back on track.

I'm over it.
I'm over you.

You've held me in your grips for nearly 27 years but I'm officially done with you.
I know I've shied away in the past and you've always snuck your way back in, but now...I know your secrets. I understand your power.

And I'm not letting you win.

There are differing schools of thought on the topic of food addiction and I've been TRYING really hard for the past 3 years to live by the "everything in moderation"/"balance"/"80/20" theory but you know what?
It
doesn't
work
for
me.

WHY?!
WHY do I do so well for a week and then have a treat meal and struggle for the next WEEK to get back on track when it was JUST starting to feel easier?
WHY can I not even ENJOY pizza if I only eat 1 or 2 pieces?
WHY do I eat the ENTIRE bag of chips when I swore I only wanted a couple?
WHY?!




I've been riding this roller coaster in frustrations and confusion and after hearing about the other end of the spectrum that seems so extreme, so restrictive, so over the top...I realized it might just be my solution.

It makes perfect sense to me. It makes all of my experience and struggles and frustrations make sense.

It might look impossible to you. You might say "I don't want to live my life not eating the foods I enjoy." But I've lived 26.9 years of this struggle of body confidence and fight with food...granted, not literally my entire life has been lived this way, but since at least 4th grade I've been aware of and fighting against my body image issues and self-confidence struggles.

So it's time to try this new way that feels so against the norm and so "drastic." But I'm more than willing to do it if it will unlock my happiest and best life.

I think know I deserve that.
And my daughter deserves a mother that can set the best example for her. One that can truly live life to the fullest with her...and that doesn't mean it has to revolve around food.



Two days ago I stumbled across something called "Bright Line Eating..." a hard set of rules that dictates things you will not eat. That at first sounds so restrictive that it would lead to the high school boy crush mindset of "you want what you can't have," right? Tell yourself enough times that you cannot have Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cody and eventually he's all you want.
But you know what I realized?
I've already set Bright Lines with other things.
...I wrote off McDonald's at the end of my pregnancy and have not even gone for an ice water since. (Three years now.)
...I've never done drugs.
...I haven't had soda in about 2.5 years even though I used to have a Diet Coke or Diet Mountain Dew daily.

...I have set Bright Lines for myself and it's easy for me to not even think about those old habits. (Not the drugs...that's been a Bright Line my entire life lol.)

The Bright Lines way of eating says we write off all processed sugar and flour. (Dates? Good to go. Cane sugar? No go. Cereal, pasta, bread? Nope. Oatmeal, Make sense?)

These days there's more and more scientific proof that we are addicted to food. Still a controversial topic? Yes. But my life experiences point to agreeing with these new studies. We know there's science and countless studies that PROVE that sugar is addictive...like, more addictive than cocaine. So why would I allow myself this drug-ish "treat" ...EVER? Why would I EVER want to subject myself to that risk? One that only leads me to frustration, sluggishness, and yet another detour from my goals and happiest version of myself?
I've never thought that flour would fit in that same category, but it makes sense. Take a food, process and refine it. It's the same thing they do to sugar. It's the same thing they do to drugs.

I know I'm talking a lot here. I just want to share this with you. Because I KNOW there are people out there with similar struggles and if I can find a solution for us, I'm going to scream about it from the rooftops. Feel free to try it along with me or just follow my journey. I'll keep you updated and share progress!


It might sound like a huge sacrifice, but in the scheme of things? It's nothing. I'd rather sacrifice unfulfilling foods than my best and happiest life.

My dirty little secret

Hi there, fit friend!! 

I wanted to share something that's been on my heart...something that's HARD for me to share but CRUCIAL for me to be honest about if I want to inspire others to live their most vibrant life, which is the goal for my life. 

Have you ever heard "you will keep facing the same challenges until you learn the lesson" or some quote along those same lines?

Hi. 

I've been living that line.

I'm not sure if you've heard my fitness story but here's the quick rundown:

I gained 60 pounds during pregnancy and lost 87 in 6 months once finding my routine with T25, P90X3, and Shakeology. 

And I stayed there in that little comfort zone for about a year. Back in my favorite clothes, feeling proud and confident and in complete control...

And then.

The food starting overtaking my mind.

Have you ever heard someone just say the word "donut" or "pizza" and all the sudden that literally the ONLY thing you can think about?

Yeah. 

That was me. 

I no longer felt like super woman.

I no longer felt like a held the power.

I let the food win.

And I found myself in a deep valley of this healthy lifestyle mountain range.

I had been on such a high...I had felt like I could conquer anything. And then I forgot those feelings, I forgot that power, I forgot my true strength. 

And I hid this struggle from everyone because I felt I had to be "perfect." I felt I had to always be Super Woman. I felt I had to be the strength everyone needed.

But... just as I've preached to everyone from the beginning of my journey, I never gave up. I refocused, for what felt like the 27th time, and I recommitted to my challenge group, being the best challenger I could be. I am SO grateful for all of the ladies in that private group because their support and encouragement and THEIR sweaty selfies and healthy meal pictures inspired me daily, and I slowly started to feel my excitement for the lifestyle coming back. 

I realize now that I never needed to be perfect, I just need to be real, authentic, and honest about this journey. Because I would never expect YOU to be perfect on this journey-- that's just not realistic! We are human. This journey is full of twists and turns, ups and downs. The important thing is that we never.ever.ever.give.up. That's the example I want to set. That's what I want people to be inspired with when they come across my page. I'm just like you. I struggle too. But I never give up. And neither should you!! :) 

"You're stronger than you know.

One choice at a time.

Every effort counts."

Those are the thoughts that have raced through my mind time and time again this month. I finally feel the power. I feel the strength and I feel in control again.

I give credit to those ladies and that accountability we've shared.

I stuck to my plan. 

I did the 3 Day Refresh to a T.

I did every single Hammer and Chisel and Insanity Max 30 workout on my schedule.

I ate the things I needed to and turned down the things that wouldn't bring me closer to my goals.

And 12 pounds have left my body this month.

BUH BYE lol!

At my goal? No. But I'm on my way. And I have the BEST support and a plan that clearly works.

I've learned a lot about myself this month and am so proud of every lady in the group!!

We are not perfect.

But we never give up. 

Our loved ones are too important.

Our health is too important.

This life is too important. 

#bam #realtalk ;) 

  

This month has been so good for us, and I wanted to extend an invitation to ALL of you who have ever started, thought about starting, or wanted to start this healthy lifestyle journey to join us in July. Hearing things like "I finally didn''t hate myself when I tried on dresses and looked in the mirror," and "I'm stronger! I can tell such a difference in how I feel!" tell me that it's not just ME benefiting from this group, it's every member, and I feel it's my duty to share this with as many people as possible!! 

Cheers to you, fit friend. No matter what chapter you're on in your journey. Maybe July 1st will be page 1. Maybe it'll will be chapter 13 of a book you haven't opened in a while. No matter what, I hope you know that you are capable of so much and that every day you hold the power to choose what life you want to live. 

One choice at a time.

If you want to join us in July just shoot me a message on Facebook and we can chat goals and details!

Excited for all the changes we will see!! 

#togetherwewill

In the Moment

"I can't believe I ate that last night."
"Why didn't I start last month?"
"What was I thinking going through the drive thru for lunch?"
"Um these jeans fit me 2 months ago..."

"How did I get here?"

Have you ever caught yourself thinking thoughts like these?
Maybe this morning?

Maybe last Monday morning?
Oh, wait, that was a holiday, so maybe last Tuesday morning?
The first day of this month?
January 1st, 2016?
January 1st, 2015?

...are you closer to your goals today?

Listen:

You cannot change what's already happened.
You cannot go back and choose differently.
But you CAN look at this moment you're standing in (sitting in?) and make one critical choice:

Your effort.

We need to forgive ourselves {for our past choices and actions} and move on. 

No, let me try that again.

We need to forgive ourselves and move forward.

The past is the past, no matter how much you feel ashamed, guilty, frustrated, etc.

It happened. It's over.

Let it be over.

Move forward.

Make new choices.

Think of who you DO want to be.

The BEST version of you. 

What's she look like? What does she wear? How do people feel when she walks into a room? How does SHE feel when she walks into a room full of people?

Every second of every day is a new opportunity to take strides toward your goal.

You can choose right now to give this workout every last ounce of effort, as my new Nike tank says: "till there's nothing left."

You can choose to get up right now, turn off the reality tv, and push play on a workout. 

You can choose to pass by those donuts and pick up your delicious breakfast you brought to work with you because you prepared yourself to stay on track. 

You can choose to create new habits, to buy healthier foods at the grocery store, to learn more about what good nutrition is, to drink more water and cut out the soda...

Yeah, it'll be hard. But it's your choice. And it gets easier the more you do choose the healthier route. Some moments will be harder than others, but, hey, guess what, hard does not mean impossible.

So. Tell Negative Nancy in your mind to sit down and shut up, shift your focus on to your GOALS instead of your past, tell yourself you're capable of anything and more powerful than you know (it might feel like a lie at first but I promise it's true), and give this moment everything you've got. Just this one. Don't allow yourself to focus on how far you have to go or past failures or anything other than this moment right here. Give this current moment all you've got.

For your goals.

For your sanity.

For your happiness.

For your empowerment.

For you.

Is your past stealing your future?

Chances are you've seen this picture or heard these stories before.

And much like its caption here, the moral of the story was "it's okay to fail. don't ever give up," or something along those lines.

But the other day, as I was failing over and over in the middle of my daily sweat session with Shaun T {Insanity Max 30...try it, I dare ya lol} my thoughts went down a different path. 

And as I was trying to find the words to start this blog post, I thought of these legends and how they would have applied the topic at hand. How they would approach each new situation that came into their lives and each situation they had previously failed that was yet again staring them in the face...

...Oprah heading in for another interview.

...Jordan seeing the clock winding down and feeling his teammates' hope resting on his shoulders.

...Howard Schultz walking into the 137th and 199th and 241st bank with that crazy coffee dream.

They weren't dwelling on the failures. 

They were seizing the opportunity in front of them.

And that's what I want to talk about.

Whether you're an entrepreneur and everyone tells you you're stupid or crazy or just laughs it off,

or you have 200 pounds to lose and pizza and soda and donuts have had their grips on you for 32  years, 

or every single thing about your past has created a reality that you want no part of...

you ALWAYS have the option to choose something different NOW.

Because you want to know the secret? Your present situation is created by hundreds and thousands of little decisions you've made up till now. #lightbulb

You don't have to let your past dictate your future.

This moment that you're sitting in, right now as you read this, holds unlimited opportunity and potential. Right now, this second you can choose health. You can put down the soda. You can pull out of the drive thru. You can choose brave. You can choose a fresh start. And five minutes from now you can do the same. And tomorrow you can do the same.

It's the small stuff. The small simple choices, like water over an Icee and veggies over fries, made consistently over time, will create your reality. What reality do you want to wake up in? 

Your past doesn't define your future. 

Unless you let it. 

You can choose to keep doing the same ole thing that's landed you here, this place you want to run away from. Or. You can choose a different path. 

Continue down the same.

Or make new choices.

The time will pass, whatever you choose. Life will proceed all around you. Obstacles and possibilities for excuses WILL keep showing up, I guarantee it.

But. {Big, fat BUT right here...}

YOU hold the power.

YOU have the choice.

Every single time you make a decision, ask yourself, "Is this who I want to be? Will I be proud of this 6 months, 1 year, 10 years from now?" 

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don't belong. 

Embrace the Suck

Ever get SUPER excited when you start something new?

Like when you order a new workout program and you just CANNOT WAIT to start?

You think of how AMAZING it's going to be to change your body and change your life.

You think of how READY you are to dive all in and get the results you've been desiring for oh so long.

You think of how INCREDIBLE you're going to feel once you complete this program and get your body to a confident and happy place!

{{Let me pause here to say that when I say "you" I mean US, all of us, collectively, I think, or maybe just ME.}}

Here's the thing though...

You're (We're? I am?...) so excited when starting because you emotionally FEEL the END RESULT.

We are *in* the BEFORE and *thinking about* the AFTER.

But there's so much MIDDLE.

All the change, all the struggle, all the man-this-SUCKS, all the journey...

ALL of the chapters of your book fall between the first and that very last page...

That's where the work is.

And that's where so many people fall away.

Because it's hard.

Because they don't want it to be hard.

Because they didn't mentally prepare for hard.

Because there's doubt and fear and suck and sore legs and missed cake and weak moments and birthdays and Christmases and Memorial Days and obstacles at every turn.

Because they aren't willing to sacrifice.

Because they don't really know WHY they want to succeed, they just think it'd be nice to fit into a smaller jean size.

But that middle...that struggle...that journey...chapter 2, 12, and 26...THAT is what we have to EMBRACE.

We gotta accept the hard.

We gotta accept the work.

We gotta accept that in order to get to that glorious AFTER photo, we have to ride the roller coaster and embrace every twist and turn, up and down.

But you wanna know a secret?

HARD does not mean impossible. Think of all of the HARD things thrown at you in life...guess what? You're still standing. You've overcome EVERY SINGLE ONE. You're doing great. You were meant for hard things.

Do you want to sacrifice that end goal? Or do you want to sacrifice that piece of apple pie that you swear is singing your name?

Do you want that after photo or do you want to eat a whole pizza tonight and wake up frustrated and ashamed, yet again?

(And no I'm not saying that's how you SHOULD feel...I'm speaking from personal experience- for those who HAVE felt that, you're not alone.)

DO the work.

EMBRACE the struggle.

Let NO obstacle stop you from accomplishing your goal.

You. Can. Do. It.

HOW TO:: MAKE IT HAPPEN

The main point of changing your lifestyle? To get different results than you are currently.

The MOST important factor in getting those results? Staying CONSISTENT.

My top 5 tips in staying consistent? Here ya go:

HOW TO: Be Consistent & Successful with a Healthy Lifestyle

1. Find a workout program that you can stick with EVERY DAY. 
Not one that you would really like to be able to do...one that you CAN fit into your busy schedule. When I first started my journey, I WANTED to go to the gym every day. But I couldn't make that work. It was too easy to come up with excuses while adjusting to life with a newborn. "I need a babysitter." "It's already midnight, they're closed." ...you know what I'm talking about. This was one reason I got such amazing results with T25- it was an extremely effective workout that I could do every day in my living room, with no equipment, after my daughter went to sleep, no matter how much energy I had left because it was only 25 minutes a day.

2. Make plans, be prepared. 
Download the myfitnesspal app on your phone and plan out your meals. Think about what you have in your kitchen, what you can prepare, what you can pack to take with you to work, and log it into the app in advance. Having it all right in front of you takes the guesswork out & helps you stay on track throughout the day- no more starving on your way home from a busy day and just pulling into the drive thru because you are ravenous. 

3. Have accountability.
Get someone in your life that is willing to support you, make the changes with you, and that you can go to when you are feeling weak so they can help you stay on track. This might be a boyfriend, sister, friend, a group of people... I don't care who it is but make sure you have SOMEONE because making these lifestyle changes is extremely hard to stick to if you feel like you're alone. 

4. Keep learning.
Google is your best friend, but be smart about it. I do so much research on a daily basis to learn more and more about how I can better reach my goals...but realize how many opinions and "facts" and studies are out there. Don't make decisions and form opinions based on one person's blog. Educate yourself properly and then make decisions that are best for you and your goals.

5. Make a pact...with YOURSELF

This one might actually need to be number ONE. You know those moments (for me they usually come around 9/10pm) when your mind is justifying a treat? It's giving you any and every reason why you "deserve" to eat off plan, how you've "earned" that dessert, or basically giving you some kind of an OUT. Some "reason" why it's "OKAY" for you to indulge in something that's not a part of your nutrition plan (or maybe a reason why you don't need to workout today?)...it feels like someone is taking over your mind and your body and then the next morning you wake up screaming "WHYYYYYY DID I DO THAT?! Ugh!" Feeeeeeeels you! Been there! Too many times!! My number one tip in WINNING the battle against this demon? When you are in a LEVEL HEADED state, when you feel STRONG and powerful and like you can conquer the world, when you are excited and CONFIDENT that you can stay on plan and get the results you want, (like when you wake up in the morning) MAKE A PACT WITH YOURSELF. Literally say to yourself, "Self, I PROMISE to stay on track. I know those (late night) demons will come but I know all those justifications are LIES and that I DON'T want to give in. So I promise that I WON'T. This is the real me, the best me, the strong and powerful me PROMISING that I WILL stay on plan no matter what. There is NO excuse, reason, justification, statement that can derail me. I am doing this. I am strong. I PROMISE MYSELF TO STAY ON PLAN." Then? When the late night demon tries to take over? You've got a trump card. Nothing "she" can say can take away the promise that you've made. You've already smashed any and all justification "she" will try to convince you is the truth and you can go to bed in control and wake up PROUD...and one step closer to crushing those goals! 

Girlboss in Disguise?

-I’m not as pretty as her.
-I’m not in good enough shape.
-I don’t want to just sell stuff (and would be NO good at it).
-I’m not inspirational. 
-It’s too expensive. I’m too shy. I don't have enough time. I don’t know enough people.
-I have NO idea what it even means.

Ever had any of those thoughts whenever you see me talking about this coaching thing I do? Uh, yeah— I had EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM. I n.e.v.e.r. thought I could be one of “those people” who was successful with “something like this.”

But what I did know?
-I desperately needed a change in my life.
-I had a story to share.
-I wanted to help just 1 person live a little happier.
-I could soak up all the information I needed from these top coaches who were willing to teach me how to follow their footsteps.

I NEVER imagined this could change my life the way it has. I thought some people were just destined to live unhappy, overweight, without friends, and just “getting by.” Crazy how quickly everything changes when you take a leap of faith, deciding mediocre isn’t good enough anymore.

I want to show you guys what I do. I know it’s tough to understand so I’m opening up a 3 day sneak peek to show you the ins & outs— WHAT exactly do I DO every day and why the heck do I do it?! It’s here on Facebook. It’s totally free. And it might help you make a decision that could change your life. Let me know if you’ve ever had that feeling in your gut that this just might be for you, too, by hitting “like” or commenting right here. heart emoticon